The North Edge of Nowhere by Carmen Webster Buxton

Author:Carmen Webster Buxton [Buxton, Carmen Webster]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: science fiction
Publisher: Cracked Mirror Press
Published: 2021-02-28T23:00:00+00:00

DARIUS had his head buried so deeply under the pillow he almost didn’t hear the knock. He pulled his head free, but then changed his mind and decided to ignore his caller. He didn’t want anyone to see him with his eyes red from weeping.

A moment later the knock sounded again, and Lady Helaina’s voice said, “Darius?”

Darius put his face down in his pillow. Maybe she would go away if he didn’t answer.

The door creaked, and her voice—louder this time—said, “Darius?”

Darius put his head up enough to be able to speak clearly. “Go away, please.”

Instead she came in and crossed the room to sit on the edge of his bed. She put one hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong, Darius? Why are you so unhappy?”

Darius choked back a sob and put his face down against his pillow. What was wrong? He had found out how much he had lost, that was what was wrong.

“Was it something in the letters?” Helaina asked.

Darius didn’t want to tell her but when he took a deep, ragged breath and let it out, the words spilled out with the air. “He always knew. My father—King Siddiq always knew, from the day I was born, that I wasn’t his son. He loved me anyway, he said. It never mattered to him.”

Helaina stroked his shoulder gently, as if she could melt his anguish with her touch. “I think that’s wonderful. Weren’t you afraid that he wouldn’t love you anymore?”

How had she known that? Doubtless her gift had told her. “I thought he’d see me as—as an embarrassment.” A bastard. A sign of his mother’s shame. A sob caught in Darius’s throat. “He said this would be harder for me to accept than for him, because he had always known that I was—I was a gift he might not be able to keep forever.”

“That’s a beautiful thought.” Lady Helaina’s voice held warm sympathy. “Why does it make you unhappy?”

“Because I’ll never see him again.” Darius clutched his pillow and tried not to think about what his life had been in Cairo—the warm sea air, his mother, Siddiq, his horses, and his friends. “I thought it didn’t matter that I had to live here, because Siddiq wouldn’t want to see me anyway, but now I know that he still loves me.”

“Maybe you will see him one day.”

Not so long as Lord Brian lived to forbid it. Darius rolled over on his side so that his back was to her. “I swore to stay here forever.”

Helaina put her hand on his shoulder again. “Don’t give up hope. Maybe someday Brian will let you visit—or maybe Siddiq and your mother will come here. Anyway, you can write to them. Brian has said that you may.”

Darius looked at her over his shoulder. “Did you persuade him?”

“I didn’t have to persuade him. He agreed as soon as your uncle asked.” She patted him gently and then withdrew her hand. “Come on downstairs. It’ll be time for dinner soon, and you haven’t eaten since breakfast.

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